Sunday, February 19, 2012

Drugs or no drugs?

My labor and delivery was an AMAZING, profound, life-changing experience. If someone had told me that before, I probably would have shrugged it off figuring that's what everyone says about childbirth. But, I just can't get over it and wish I could yell it in the streets, or from a mountain top. I feel like all women with children have an innate bond over this shared experience, and I'm constantly looking for this bond even with strangers. I'm not sure how if would manifest itself, but the experience of childbirth is hardly discussed unless you're pregnant or just were. I've really only "shared" my story with those who ask, and even words don't do it justice. And then it occurred to me, that maybe my experience is unlike others'. Or at least my feelings about it. Maybe it was my lack of drugs. No epidural. No narcotic. No laughing gas. Not even an ibuprofen.
I read a lot and talked to lots of people during my pregnancy about the options for pain relief during labor. At the beginning, I'll be honest, I was game for everything. Bring on the needle in my back. But after watching The Business of Being Born and reading a random library book on birth options, I needed more information. I switched from an ob-gyn to a midwife, looked into home birthing, read about Hypnobirthing, and decided I wanted an unmedicated natural labor in a hospital with a midwife. This seemed like the best of both worlds. Medical intervention if necessary but not offered unless needed.  Then it was a question of, could I do it?
My husband believed in me more than I did. My body knew what to do. It wasn't unbearable. I felt alive, happy, strong, grateful, proud, and overall amazing. I got to feel my little baby's squishy head coming out. The rush when she finally slid all the way out was fantastic. I'd do it all again tomorrow if I could. So, maybe not everyone feels the same way I do about my experience. But whatever the experience, the bond of childbirth should be shared and discussed. What is the forum to do so?

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