I guess I assumed that new moms would have an unspoken connection that should become spoken. The urge to talk about birth, baby and breastfeeding is serious. I figured other new moms would feel this way and we'd be able to bond immediately over our shared experience. A few weeks ago I was shopping in the baby Gap section with my daughter. After spotting another mom with a baby carrier (aka. young baby), I got a little excited. That maybe I'll meet someone new feeling. So, I started with the best mom opener: "how old is s/he?" I got a simple "8 weeks" response. Ok, so no go on my next new friend. I then tried to make small talk about how cute the sale sweaters and swim suits were with her. Again, no luck. I shopped my way out of that section. But, I didn't understand. Didn't we share this awesome, amazing life experience so recently? Didn't other moms feel the way I did, with an overwhelming desire to talk and share?
Then, again this past Friday, I took my daughter the the Nordstroms women's lounge for her afternoon breast session. I'd heard from other moms that it was a nice place to go at the mall. I walk in and there are two other women breastfeeding their babies. I thought, "ooh, fun, someone to talk to while I feed her; great!" I tried my "how old" opener again with the first girl. I basically got out of them that one was 3 weeks the other four. They obviously didn't know each other and didn't want to talk with me either. One of the girls was trying to be really private facing the wall and covering herself up. Weren't we in a public women only lounge with other breastfeeding moms? Again, we share such a unique women only experience and no one want to talk about it or even make small talk together when we see each other? I think we should have a secret new mom code word or signal. Something that says "hey, lets just talk about how awesomely hard it is to be a mom." Perhaps the world or digital communication makes it weird to talk to strangers in public, but with such a bond, new moms shouldnt be strangers. They should be friends.
The best way I found to meet moms was to go to an actual moms group (there was one offered through my hospital.) Otherwise it seemed that everywhere I went everyone already had some sort of established group. I remember a time last summer when my mom friends and I were at a petting zoo and we met this other mom with a son about our age, and we were all like "she's cool - we should see if she wants to join our playgroup" but we chickened out. In a way, it felt like we were trying to land a big date! Haha! So if you put yourself out there you should find some amazing moms - and you only have a few weeks to go before you'll have two more mom friends. Oh yeah, and don't forget about AY at work. I think she would totally appreciate your Blog. You're an awesome new mom, and I know that soon you'll meet the right people!!
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