Seeing my baby girl for 1 hour a day is not enough. I fed her this morning at 6:31. After getting dressed, eating breakfast, pumping, and packing pump parts, I was out the door. After school (I'm a teacher), I got home to feed her again. We played for about 30 minutes after and then it was time to go again. Yes, I love teaching Zumba, but sometimes it'd be easier not to. Lately, the hardest part is just leaving her. Once I'm gone or there, I am fine. I feel good; I'm social and working out. But, the leaving is rough.
Typically, she's been napping while I'm gone and then eating again at about 8:30 pm. Tonight, I got home at 7:15 (that's really fast considering my class ends at 7:00) to daddy saying she'd just eaten. And, total disappointment sets in. Why? It must be that now my expectation of the night has changed. She's asleep, has eaten already, and I may not get to see her awake again tonight. Of course, I should be happy that she was fed when she was hungry. He did the right thing, but I have to talk myself down.
Then comes the readjusting of my plan for the evening. Should I wake her later to feed her again? Do we let her try and sleep till morning? (unlikely) Do I pump now and hope that I produce enough to feed her again in an hour? Do I wake her in an hour, feed her, then pump if there's left over? Will my mission to increase supply be squashed by this evening? Why does it bother me that I'm down one bottle from my stockpile? (there's plenty in there) So, I'm talking myself down by writing. I know that I can't plan and always expect to follow that plan with baby girl around. I have to accept that things will vary. Hopefully I'll get more than one hour tomorrow.
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